


FREAK

by softency



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Tattoos, Don't Examine This Too Closely, I've Had This In My Drafts For A Year and FINALLY Finished it, Illegal Activities, M/M, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Slow Build, Worldbuilding, technically, welcome to hell - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25177036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softency/pseuds/softency
Summary: Tattoos are illegal. They have been for five years. There are barely any shops that offer any kind of ink services. Any that have been found have been foreclosed and the owners imprisoned.-“That’s a mighty lot to be wearing at night.”“I get cold easily.” He responds, and it isn’t a lie, but not the entire reasoning.The man’s lips curl up at the ends, reaching his eyes as they crinkle at the edges in amusement.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 112





	FREAK

**Author's Note:**

> me? dropping another fic so close to the last? i guess.  
> hope you like it

Jaebum licks his lips, the night air making them slightly chapped.

It is late, Jaebum had left around two in the morning, and it surprises him to see a small, tucked away hole in the wall cafe still open. At first he thinks his eyes are playing tricks on him, but the closer he strolls, the more obvious it becomes that it is real and the glowing sign above the door reads ‘OPEN’.

Admittedly, it’s been a while since he’s been to a cafe, and he feels himself drawn to it like a moth to a lantern. It’s been a long time since he’s been on this side of the city long enough to explore and go around freely, to be fair, and the side he lives on is less active at night due to it being less populated and more calm.

He grips the handle of the door and eases it open, ducking inside and adjusting the scarf around his neck. Immediately Jaebum is hit with the warm scent of coffee and brownies and his mouth waters in the seconds he takes to finish fidgeting around with his scarf and gloves. He looks up finally, taking in the small shop and how homey and inviting it felt. 

There is a small noise behind him and Jaebum’s eyes whip over to it in alarm, meeting the curious eyes of a man that has to be around his age who is leaning against the counter.

“That’s a mighty lot to be wearing at night.” The man comments playfully, and Jaebum feels his breath stolen from him in a way that he hasn’t experienced since middle school.

The stranger is beautiful, having an unearthly glow to him that draws Jaebum in. His features are soft from the slight puff of his cheeks to how sinfully plush his lips look, but what entranced Jaebum the most is how sharp his eyes were in the mix. They lock onto Jaebum like he is the most interesting thing the guy has seen in a long time, and a selfish streak runs through him as he decides he wants to keep his attention on him like that.

“I get cold easily.” He responds, and it isn’t a lie, but normally, Jaebum won't dress like this indoors. 

The man’s lips curl up at the ends, reaching his eyes as they crinkle at the edges in amusement. 

From that one moment Jaebum is fully sold on the guy, wanting to get to know everything about him. That was three months ago, and Jaebum was never able to get the thought of him, of _Jinyoung,_ out of his head. He keeps getting pulled back to the small cafe on nights where he has free time and is up to heading out to go see him. 

Jinyoung, as he finds out, is around the same age as him, only around two months younger. He also owns the cafe and lives above it in a decently sized apartment, but he just prefers to take the night shifts because he has a mild case of insomnia.

Jaebum tells him he owns a place too but refuses to tell him what, only giving him the fact that it keeps him easily afloat and goes by ‘13’.

  
  


One night when Jaebum gets free time to go see Jinyoung again he isn’t met with the smart, cunning man he’d become addicted to, and instead, he is met with a man shorter than him with tan skin. 

“Oh.” Jaebum murmurs, slowing from where he’d happily ducked into the shop. “Hey, Jinyoung’s not here?” He asks, tugging his coat more firmly around him self consciously. 

The man just stares him down with an intense judgement that he isn’t expecting, staying quiet before speaking up as Jaebum moves slowly to the counter. “You’re who Jinyoung’s been meeting?” He asks and Jaebum reluctantly nods, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. “If you’re in anything shady, stay away from him. He’s too good of a person to be drug into trouble.” The man says coldly, and Jaebum feels like he’s been doused with ice water. He stands there in shock, not having expected anyone to judge him that extremely if they were aware Jinyoung knew him well, but he was proven wrong. 

“I’d never drag him into _anything_.” He says stiffly, narrowing his eyes at the man. “I have done nothing to point that I would, so just give it a rest.” He finishes, an awful taste left in his mouth by how the man is looking at him. He doesn’t need this, he can't _deal with_ this right now, because his life is hellishly stressful as it is. 

“I’m just telling you, if you’re trouble, stay away.” The man says, and Jaebum grits his teeth in bubbling anger that is growing more and more inside of him. 

“ _Fuck off_ with that.” Jaebum hisses, running a hand through his hair and turning on his heel to leave, his destructive temper about to lash out at the man again and Jinyoung wouldn’t like that. 

_It would upset Jinyoung, he wouldn’t want to ever see you again if you did it, Jaebum._

“Just tell Jinyoung I stopped by.” He gets out before he yanks open the door and rushes out into the street, the icy night air welcoming him.

He can’t give up this easy, right?

  
  


The next night Jaebum decides he isn’t going to take a chance and lose what they’ve built up over the months.

He sets out right when the sun disappears, dropping from the sky and giving Jaebum enough shadows to feel comfortable with.

Mostly, Jaebum takes a route to Jinyoung’s shop that most people don’t come near, weaving through a few alleys here and there and mostly just walking the backstreets.

Tonight wasn’t any different, but the moment Jaebum turned this corner he felt something off.

Before he could register it he’s knocking into a woman with groceries, sending both of them to the ground. 

Jaebum scrambles to get up, taking his hands out of his pockets and extending one to the woman, guilt flooding over him. “I’m so sorry-” He begins, looking to her eyes, but when he sees her staring intently at his hand, he finally realizes he forgot to wear his gloves. When her eyes flick up and Jaebum sees her eyes don’t make it even up to his face, he takes a worried step back. 

He can feel the breeze in his hair, he knows his hood must have fallen off in the commotion, so it exposes his entire head and down his neck. 

The moment she pulls out her cell phone hurriedly Jaebum turns and takes off the way he’d come, dread and regret filling his entire body. 

_Stupid._

_He’s stupid._

  
  


He gave up for a bit of time.

He didn’t _want_ to, but everything that guy said that night kept circling through his head and he kept overthinking it and getting paranoid. 

Is he trouble? He probably is. Jinyoung probably shouldn’t get involved with him, he’s so sweet and smart and Jaebum doesn’t want to drag him down. Jinyoung is too good for him anyway, with everything to consider. It has been him and Mark on their own for a long time for a reason. 

He lasts two weeks before Mark kicks him out of their shop just before closing because _‘I’m done dealing with your sulking, go see your boy._. 

The familiar walk back to the cafe feels like hours but is nothing over thirty minutes across town. He debates turning around a handful of times, but he knows that it is already eating him alive to just leave without a trace, and honestly, Mark probably won’t let him back in the apartment. 

Jaebum gently pushes the door open, feeling so scared to actually be back here, but he isn’t going to back down now. The small bell above the door chimes and as soon as it shuts, Jinyoung’s eyes lock with his own and Jaebum can immediately tell that he is mad. Jaebum swallows roughly, looking away after a moment and walking to the counter sheepishly.

“You have explaining to do, Jaebum. You’re lucky I even let you back in my shop after you up and disappeared with no warning.” Jinyoung states and Jaebum holds back the instinct to flinch at this, knowing he fully deserves it for putting Jinyoung through the last two weeks of silence. 

“Do you want to sit down?” Jaebum hesitantly asks, his voice rough up from worrying out in the chilly night air. “I don’t know if I can give you the answers you want right now.” He admits and Jinyoung just rolls his eyes, stepping out from behind the counter and heading over to the table they usually sit at during nights like these that they spend together.

Before Jaebum can speak again as they sit down, Jinyoung beats him to it and doesn't waste any time getting to the point.

“Bambam told me you stopped by that night and what he said to you.” Jinyoung states, staring down Jaebum in a way that he realizes that he never wanted to witness, because even if he sounds mad, his eyes just look _hurt_. “The only thing I can think of that you’ve been hiding from me is where you live and what you do, so if you’re in some sort of drug ring I swear to god Jaebum-”

“It’s- It’s not like that! I promise I’m not working with drugs or anything, and I live on the west side of Bymere. I’m not into anything shady, I work with an old friend and it’s just the two of us” He quickly explains, alarmed that Jinyoung would think that of him.

“What do you do, Jaebum?” Jinyoung asks, and Jaebum’s entire demeanor saddens. He looks at Jinyoung guiltily, knowing he couldn’t just tell him what he does. He can’t put him in danger by knowing of Jaebum _and_ what he does outside of this cafe. The less he knows the better, and Mark would agree with him because this is how they’ve spent the last _ten years._

“I… I can’t tell you, ‘Nyong.” Jaebum breathes, this eating him alive that he just fucking _had to_ have a job that he can’t openly speak about. He should have become a mechanic or builder.

“Then leave.” Jinyoung states, voice as sharp as a knife, and Jaebum’s jaw drops.

He can feel desperation welling up inside him, knowing he can’t do one of the things, but the other option would kill him just to walk away from here, from Jinyoung, who he’s grown attached to, and who wanted him out of his life.

“Please don’t do this, I’ll tell you anything other than that. Anything you want.” Jaebum breathes out, terrified that he’d just gotten to know the man in front of him and then he is now going to lose him so quickly. 

_“Take off your coat and I’ll hear you out.”_

Jaebum feels like he will cry, his head beginning to ache as his eyes begin to tear up.

“You _know_ I can’t do that either.” Jaebum says, staring out the window and internally cursing himself for fucking his entire life up before he’d had time to meet Jinyoung.

“Then leave, Jaebum. It was nice to get to know you while it lasted.” Jinyoung says with a tight smile and Jaebum feels his heart drop to the floor and then shatter like glass. 

_There is nothing he can do, is there?_

“If one day I can tell you, will you hear me out?” Jaebum asks quietly, and Jinyoung just gives him a more visible, bitter smile in return as Jaebum stands up from his chair.

_“We both know you’ll never be able to if you can’t right now.”_

  
  


Jaebum goes home feeling hollow that night and Mark won’t let him go to work the next day because of how much of a wreck he is, and in the back of his mind he knows Mark is right, but also he needs _something_ , a distraction for him to not carve himself out even more than he already has.

Nora hops up on his bed and pads up to where he’s still curled up under the covers. Jaebum grunts quietly when she tries to bump her forehead against his own and misses, hitting him in the eye and getting fur in his mouth. 

Maybe he should go buy her a new toy, it’s been a while.

  
  


_Jaebum wonders what it could have been like with Jinyoung if this wasn’t his reality._

_If Jaebum had taken off his coat right there._

_If Jaebum could take him out on a date during the day. Where they would go and what they would do. If Jinyoung would let him hold his hand._

_But that’s not his reality, and just because Jaebum is bitter at society doesn’t mean he can change it._

  
  


“Just tell him.” Mark says that afternoon out of nowhere as they’re sitting on the couch eating Chinese take-out and watching one of Mark’s cooking shows. 

“What?” Jaebum questions, only caught the last bit of the sentence, now directing his attention to the other man instead of watching the woman on the screen freak out at the timer.

“Go and tell him after we’re done eating. You remember how I met Jackson and wanted to tell him after a while of knowing him and he never asked like how Jinyoung has.” Mark says as if he is just talking about the weather, his eyes still locked onto the TV attentively as he takes another bite of his rice. “If he means that much to you and you wholeheartedly trust him, go try to get him back.”

Jaebum’s jaw drops, trying to register if Mark is actually saying this and if he was, if he has finally lost his mind. 

“You shouldn’t joke like that.” Jaebum grits out, ripping his eyes back to the show, but Mark makes a disagreeing hum in his throat.

“You like him more than you’ve admitted, he’s the one for you and you know it.” Mark states like it is obvious and those words wash over Jaebum like ice water, making him freeze up and his breath catch. “Go get him, Jaebum.”

So Jaebum, in his joggers and sweater he would sleep in, left the apartment after scratching a note out on a sheet of paper in case Jinyoung wouldn’t talk to him.

He runs practically the entire way there.

It is almost closing time, and if Jaebum wants to save his chance, he needs to get there as quickly as he can. 

Jaebum almost trips over himself as he pushes the door open, internally screaming in joy that he’d made it in time. 

There isn’t anyone in sight, and Jaebum’s hope drops into the pit of his stomach.

_Maybe he is too late._

He waits for a minute before walking up to the counter, his footsteps echoing through the cafe, and he is about to just leave the note on the counter when he suddenly hears someone move around in the back and footsteps heading his way.

He freezes up and retracts his hand from where it was hovering over the counter, gripping the paper tightly. Maybe Jinyoung is here after all.

As soon as he sees a tan hand appear in the door, however, he feels his stomach drop even further.

“What are you doing here, Jaebum?” Bambam asks in a pointed tone, obviously not happy to see him again. “He told you to leave, what makes you think he-”

“Please, just give this to him, he can throw it away if he wants, but I needed to try.” Jaebum chokes out, interrupting him before he can spear right through Jaebum’s heart. “I’ll leave, but please just get this to him, that’s all I’m asking.” He says, his voice quieting down as he gently places down the now slightly crinkled slip of paper on the counter. 

Bambam presses his lips into a thin line, but nods jerkily, and Jaebum lets out a relieved sigh, sending him a soft, thankful smile before he makes his way out of the shop, the night air hitting him hard. He didn’t want to push his luck and overstay where he is obviously unwelcome.

He hopes Jinyoung will at least look at the note, but right now, he can’t do anything else except wait.

  
  


Jaebum lasts two entire weeks before he breaks down, feeling all the hope having slowly drained out of him in the past few days. 

Mark walks in on him one day when Jaebum wasn’t scheduled to work, sitting with his back pressed to the cabinets and knees drawn to his chest, beginning to break down into his arms.

“Jaebum?” Mark rushes out, quickly abandoning his keys in hand and dropping to the floor to gather him in his arms.

“I wish I could just take everything back to never have to lie to him.” He says after he’s calmed down enough to speak clearly, clinging to Mark. “I tried, and he probably threw it away.” He adds quietly, truly not knowing what to do with himself after this. He’s gotten his feelings entirely too involved, he’s fallen way too deep into the pure idea of Jinyoung, that having to leave all of that, all the small habits that Jinyoung has, is crushing him.

“You'll be okay, it might take some time, but it’ll be okay. If he doesn’t want to hear you out after knowing you for over a year, then that’s his loss.” Mark reasons, and Jaebum wants to believe him, he really does, but regret is coursing through him at a pace too quick to digest and push away. 

He nods his head anyway.

  
  


Jaebum wakes up the next morning not knowing when he fell asleep or how he got into his bed for the night, but the sun was peeking through his room’s curtains so he figured it isn’t enough of an issue that he should concern himself with right now.

His eyes are burning from all the crying yesterday and it’s already giving him a headache. 

Faintly, he hears a chime from his phone and he finally opens his eyes, registering that it must have sounded before and that woke him up.

He lazily reaches for his phone on the floor in his pants pocket, struggling for a few seconds to not fall off the bed in the process before he succeeds and brings it back up onto the bed with him and lies back down. 

The phone screen’s brightness makes him wince and squint to see what has woken him up at this time in the morning, but as soon as he reads the text message his blood runs cold.

  
  


**Unknown:**

**come over after 6**

  
  


Was that Jinyoung?

It had to be, right?

His shop closed at six so it must be from him, and he actually wanted to be near Jaebum still.

Jaebum’s mood skyrockets back up so fast and abruptly that he ends up having to rush to the bathroom in case he throws up.

He doesn’t, but he does run to Mark’s room and jump on him in his bed to tell him the news.

Jaebum’s nerves are so bad that he feels the need to go back to the bathroom again in case he does need to puke, but he holds it off and settles for pacing around the kitchen, even if Mark keeps telling him to sit down before he wears through the floorboards.

Ten minutes later he is out the door a little after six, the sun just starting to set over the buildings. 

He is in a thick, rather baggy knitted turtleneck tucked into jeans as he makes his way out into the city, the icy winter air hitting him in the face and making him pause to adjust his collar. He doesn’t like the cold honestly, he just wants to be warm.

By the time Jaebum gets to the street his entire body feels like it’s vibrating from how nervous he is. The cafe looks just like how Jaebum remembers it, still such a cute little hole in the wall shop. 

When he tries the door handle, he finds it thankfully unlocked, telling him that yes, Jinyoung was giving him a chance, no matter how small of one. He would take anything he could get at this point.

The shop is warm compared to the night air outside that is quickly chilling. Jaebum slips inside, looking around for any sign of anyone present, but there isn’t anyone in eyesight at least. So, Jaebum stays put, not wanting to overstep his welcome.

A few moments later Jinyoung comes out from the back room with a closed off expression. Honestly, at this point, Jaebum felt like this was enough for him. He just needed to see Jinyoung again.

“You have five minutes before I throw you out again.” Jinyoung states and Jaebum feels his heart jump to his throat. 

Jinyoung _is_ giving him a chance. Jaebum has a chance to get Jinyoung to understand.

“Can we step into the back? I’ll explain everything there.” Jaebum requests softly, shifting his weight on his feet nervously.

This could either go incredibly well, or it could ruin Jaebum for a decade.

He hopes Mark was right on taking a chance on Jinyoung.

He watches as Jinyoung arches an eyebrow accusingly, regarding him with complete suspicion before he nods once and turns on his heel to go back into what Jaebum guesses is the kitchen area of the cafe.

As soon as Jaebum is out of sight from the windows and he’s sure that no one else could see them he turns back to Jinyoung.

Jaebum pulls his bottom lip between his teeth nervously as he watches Jinyoung for a long moment, genuinely considering what he is doing and what the fuck he is risking, because he is nearly risking everything that he’s worked for so far in his lifetime.

After a moment, he decides Jinyoung is worth it.

Jaebum breaks the stare and looks away for a moment, glancing back to the entryway one last time before he finally moves. He reaches up to his sweater, gripping the top of his collar and pulling one side down, revealing the skin there. 

Skin that had a bright red rose tattooed into it.

Jinyoung gapes at him, eyes traveling over the small bit of exposed skin before meeting Jaebum’s eyes again. “What do you do?” Jinyoung repeats the question that had ended everything for them that day.

“I’m an artist.” Jaebum rushes to say, scared that if he hesitates even a little that Jinyoung will throw him out. “A… A tattoo artist, that is.” His voice is a bit softer as he adds that on, not used to saying anything like this out loud. He’s never just openly told someone about this, it is suicide to, but this is Jinyoung, and if Jaebum is wrong about his character, he’s fine with suffering for it.

“A tattoo artist.” Jinyoung parrots, giving nothing away right now and that just serves as more leverage to his panicking mind. “Is that why you always come in the afternoon?” He asks, and Jaebum hesitantly nods, fixing his collar back. “And that’s why you’re always covered no matter what.” He continues, earning another nod. “And you came back, even though I could get you locked away for life, just to tell me.” 

“I know what I’m doing and what can happen, Jinyoung. I’m taking a chance on you.” Jaebum responds quietly, tucking the ends of his sleeves into his palms.

Jinyoung goes quiet for a few long moments, watching Jaebum carefully, but then the soft gaze he used to give Jaebum comes back, and Jaebum knows everything will be okay.

  
  


They end up spending the night talking to each other in the back room, catching up and falling back into the same rhyme and rhythm as before, except now, Jaebum is 100% open with everything Jinyoung wants to know.

Gradually they both fall into a rhythm again of meeting up a couple times a week to hang out. Instead of sitting in the shop like they used to, Jinyoung invites him up to his apartment one evening so that Jaebum doesn’t have to keep all of his layers on the entire time. He wears thin long sleeves and pushes them up to his elbows when he gets there instead of turtlenecks, and after the initial first week of getting used to someone other than Mark seeing his skin, he starts wearing t-shirts.

If Jinyoung’s eyes linger anywhere, Jaebum doesn’t let himself catch the man. 

_He can’t_ afford _to entertain those thoughts._

  
  


"Do you have more other than your arms and neck?" Jinyoung asks from the opposite end of the couch and that makes Jaebum look over away from the movie they put on for the night.

"Yeah..?" He answers a bit hesitant, not really knowing how to approach this without being extremely awkward. He can practically feel the weight of Jinyoung's eyes as they linger on his arms, keeping his own eyes locked onto Jinyoung’s face.

“Can I see?” Jinyoung questions, eyes finally coming up to meet Jaebum’s gaze and just the simple direct attention from him makes Jaebum’s mind short circuit for a few seconds.

One of his hands reaches for the hem of his t-shirt before stopping as his mind finally catches up with his actions, suddenly becoming so much more hesitant to reveal _everything_. 

“Can I take this off?” He asks, not wanting to just suddenly have to strip if Jinyoung doesn’t mean it in that way. When Jinyoung raises an amused eyebrow and nods, Jaebum has to let out a puff of a breath and look away before he’s able to bring his other hand down, pulling the shirt up and over his head, completely revealing everything underneath his shirt.

Nearly his entire body is covered in tattoos, he knows that himself, but apparently Jinyoung is still catching up to believing him when he tells him as much.

It’s silent between them for a few moments before Jaebum forces himself to look back at Jinyoung, decently surprised when he sees his jaw dropped in reaction. 

“There’s so many…” Jinyoung murmurs, and Jaebum snorts, biting back the comment that he hasn’t even seen his back and legs to be this surprised. “They’re beautiful, can I-.... Can I touch them? They don’t hurt, right?” 

It’s Jaebum’s turn to be caught off guard again, blinking a few times at Jinyoung before hesitantly nodding. “They don’t hurt right now, but they hurt a bit when they’re being done.” He explains quietly as he extends one arm towards Jinyoung as an offering.

He doesn’t expect Jinyoung to be as happy as he looks to see the images up close.

In seconds Jinyoung is tracing his fingertips along the lines, completely focused on then while Jaebum is completely captivated by Jinyoung.

He stays focused on them for a few minutes, giving every image attention before hesitantly looking at Jaebum's chest and scanning over the ink settled there. 

“How long have you had these?” Jinyoung asks curiously, his hand dropping from Jaebum’s skin and he does his best not to mourn the loss. 

“I’ve been adding everything for four years now.” Jaebum shifts a bit, his attention completely still centered on Jinyoung. “Most of them are older on my legs and chest, my arms and neck are newer.” 

Jinyoung hums, tilting his head and taking in everything. Jaebum knows Jinyoung was shocked to see them, but right now, he’s not sure if Jinyoung has ever even seen any tattoos before. 

He can’t stay for too long after that but he entertains Jinyoung as long as possible, finally tugging back on his shirt and coat, walking downstairs with Jinyoung, who seems to insist that he sees him out every single time Jaebum comes over. 

He can’t visit for the next three days because of work, a huge project taking up most of his time and Jaebum is too exhausted by the end of work to make the long walk over to see him in person. He still texts Jinyoung through the day, slight puffs of laughs escaping him every time he reads a sarcastic or sly text from him.

Jaebum happily flops down on the couch, letting out a groan as he stretches his back. He’s been sore from working everyday on the project, so his back is taking the brunt of the impact. 

“How’ve you been?” He murmurs, settling into the couch and lazily turning his head to watch Jinyoung. 

“I’m… I’m fine.” He murmurs, and in those few seconds Jaebum can read Jinyoung well enough now to see that something is clearly bothering him. 

“What’s on your mind?” Jaebum watches as Jinyoung tenses up a bit before relaxing back again. 

“Can I try something?” Jinyoung asks suddenly, and Jaebum blanks for a second, not expecting that, but he nods after a moment, trusting that he knows Jinyoung well enough now that he won’t hurt him.

Jinyoung moves swiftly next to him, just a few inches between them, and pauses there. “Can I kiss you?” 

Jaebum’s mind instantly blanks into TV static, his eyes going wide as saucers in shock. 

Oh.

_Oh._

Jaebum hesitantly nods, barely enough to be visible, but Jinyoung sees it thankfully.

It only takes seconds for Jinyoung’s lips to find his own, drawing him into a gentle kiss.

God, Jinyoung’s lips feel good on his.

It just feels right to kiss him. Everything feels right when he’s with Jinyoung recently. 

The kiss is gone as soon as it begins and Jaebum sits there frozen, stunned to the core that Jinyoung would even _want_ to kiss him, much less be bold enough to ask for it.

“Do you want a beer before we start the movie?” Jinyoung speaks up, blinking at him and that breaks Jaebum out of his state, a soft, fond smile taking up the space on his lips.

“Yeah, I could go for a beer.” He agrees, earning a knowing grin from Jinyoung as he moves to get up and get them.

That week they don’t do much out of the ordinary, spending the week fully getting to know each other. 

They both steal a few kisses here and there, more so just opting to stay close and wrapped around each other under a blanket as they watch tv and just hang out for an hour or two. 

He isn’t sure what they have between them exactly, but he’s happy regardless.

Jaebum will take anything Jinyoung will give him, he’s _so_ whipped.

It isn’t long before Jinyoung gets him cornered one afternoon in the kitchen as they’re finishing up cooking dinner.

It makes his brain short circuit as Jinyoung’s hands circle around past him and rest on the counter behind him as Jaebum leans back on it.

Jinyoung’s lips quickly find his and by now it’s almost become natural to respond in seconds, his own hands coming up to rest against Jinyoung’s shoulders happily. 

This time, though, the kiss doesn’t stay innocent even from the get go. It only takes moments before Jinyoung is licking into his mouth, eliciting a quiet moan out from Jaebum.

As if time has stopped right then and there, Jaebum’s entire world slows and all he can think and feel is Jinyoung’s mouth against his. 

And _god_ does Jinyoung’s mouth feel intoxicating. He can already tell he’s never going to get tired of this; tired of _Jinyoung_.

Jinyoung’s mouth moves away and then returns seconds later like clockwork, it’s like he’s getting more and more of a high from just the feeling. Each time that his tongue finds its way into Jaebum’s mouth he can feel himself slipping farther and farther into getting addicted.

Jaebum has to force himself to break away after a while, knowing their cooked dinner is already getting cold and he really doesn’t want to let all of their combined work go to complete waste.

“Quit distracting me.” He just about whines, but doesn’t make the first move to pull away from Jinyoung’s body, and neither does Jinyoung, who seems just as affected as Jaebum. “We need to eat, you can have more of my attention later.” Jaebum reassures, patting Jinyoung’s shoulder before gently moving out from being sandwiched between him and the counter. 

Eventually he wrangles both of them to the table, finally eating the dinner as they chat in low, soft voices about Jinyoung’s day and what he’s been up to. 

He doesn’t know what made today different, but the energy between them has changed. Maybe they’re progressing in whatever is between them. They haven’t genuinely discussed what they are, no labels have been set for them.

As they’re washing the dishes Jaebum feels the all familiar dread of having to leave creeping up on him. With each passing day they hang out in the other’s apartment it has become more and more difficult to leave, especially when Jinyoung is wrapped around him like he is now. 

“What are you up to tomorrow? Jinyoung asks quietly, his arms looped around Jaebum’s middle as he finishes drying the dishes and setting them aside. 

“I’m working late, starting around lunchtime so that the guy can get a good meal before the long session.” He explains, finally setting down the last one and draping the towel over the water faucet before turning around in Jinyoung’s arms to face him.

“Do you maybe want to stay the night then? I mean- It’s pretty late already, so it wouldn’t… hurt?” Jinyoung stumbles through his invitation, and that makes Jaebum’s entire being go still in surprise, his eyes widening briefly. 

“Oh.” He doesn’t tell him that the walk here and back is nearly thirty minutes each way. “Yeah, I’m happy to stay if you want me to, I don’t have any clothes with me though.” Jaebum murmurs, his arms sliding up to drape over Jinyoung’s shoulders.

“I can lend you some of my clothes.” Jinyoung offers, and that’s honestly what makes Jaebum fully give in, a bright grin appearing on his lips. 

That’s how Jaebum finds himself shirtless, in a spare pair of Jinyoung’s sweatpants, climbing into his bed. He originally objected to taking up space in his bed, but he didn’t get far at all before Jinyoung completely shut down his argument. 

“How are you so comfortable to lay on?” Jinyoung asks, moving to press close up against him and happily throw a leg over his hip. “You’re like a big teddy bear; just one with cool tattoos.” 

Jaebum laughs gently at the comment, wrapping an arm around Jinyoung contently. “Yeah?” He murmurs, moving to adjust the blanket over them and get fully settled.

“Mhm.” A hum echoes from Jinyoung as he noses against Jaebum’s neck, making Jaebum’s breath stutter. It’s laughable how easily Jinyoung can draw out a reaction out of him; Jaebum has never honestly been this reactive with someone he’s with, but with Jinyoung _a lot_ of unfamiliar things are happening. “Would you ever tattoo me?”

Jaebum’s heartbeat stills, and even the thought of creating the permanent markings that could risk Jinyoung everything twists his gut. 

“No.” Jaebum breathes out, shaking his head rapidly, and that makes Jinyoung look up, propping himself up on his elbows on either side of Jaebum’s head with wide, confused eyes. “I-... I can’t do that.” He elaborates his arms tightening around him as he tries to calm down his heart rate.

“Wait, why?” Jinyoung asks, clearly not expecting Jaebum to immediately negatively respond. “I wouldn’t want anything big, just something small from you personally, you know?” Jinyoung’s eyes flicker over Jaebum’s face, trying to understand his situation.

“Jinyoung… You know that just knowing me is putting you in danger? You even seeing my tattoos can backfire in seconds if you’re questioned by police.” He explains quietly, bringing a hand up to brush Jinyoung’s bangs out of his eyes. “Being involved with me is a risk. I’m a criminal in the law’s eyes. Even if I don’t think tattooing should be a crime, it is.”

“I’m okay with that.” He speaks without hesitation as soon as Jaebum finishes his thought, a slight frown forming on his lips. “I understand that I’m falling for someone who’s going against society, but I honestly think it’s beautiful. Both you and your art are beautiful, I don’t agree with society.” He rambles, leaning into Jaebum’s touch instinctively. 

“I can’t put you in permanent danger.” He breathes out, feeling his cheeks heat up at the ‘beautiful’ comments. Most people don’t view it so when Jinyoung stated it like he believes it as a fact it makes Jaebum’s stomach burst into butterflies. “I’m scared even now of what would happen if they catch me and link you to me.” 

“I’ll be okay, you can’t worry about that constantly.” Jinyoung leans down and presses a light kiss on Jaebum’s lips, making his mind fuzzy all over again. “I’m here with you willingly, I want this.” He murmurs as he pulls back, leaving Jaebum stunned from a few long seconds. He blinks up at Jinyoung dazedly, wondering in the back of his mind if he will ever get used to having Jinyoung’s attention and affection entirely focused on him.

“I know. I just… I want you to be as safe as I can keep you.” He responds, running a hand fully through Jinyoung’s hair. “If one day it isn’t as dangerous of a risk, I’ll give you one. I promise.” 

Jinyoung beams at that, taking that as a win and Jaebum smiles back before pulling him back into another chaste kiss before Jinyoung tucks his face back against Jaebum’s neck and settles back fully against him.

“Night ‘Beom.” Comes from Jinyoung’s lips, almost inaudible.

Jaebum responds with a soft “Goodnight.”, slowly feeling sleep creep up on him.

It doesn’t take long for a soft snore to come from Jinyoung, and Jaebum follows seconds later, slipping into a peaceful sleep.

There’s light pressure on his face that wakes him up, his nose crinkling at the feeling that his brain slowly registers as small presses of lips to his cheek. 

He groans groggily, tightening his arms around what he’s holding- well, _who._

“Wake up, it’s after eleven.” A voice pipes up, sounding entirely more awake than he is. It’d be irritating if Jaebum hadn’t recognized the voice as quickly as he did.

_Oh._

“‘M tired.” Jaebum complains, ducking his face into Jinyoung’s neck in an attempt to prevent the reality that he has to get up soon to go back to his apartment and get ready for the day. 

“No, you have to wake up. You have a client to get to, remember?” Jinyoung protests firmly, but doesn’t make any move to pry Jaebum away from him.

“I remember.” He grumbles out, his voice tired and rough and he’s not really ready to give up the first night’s sleep he’s had that he managed to not wake up from. 

“Then you have to get up, you can’t stay here forever.” He reminds him as if Jaebum has somehow forgotten, making Jaebum grumble out a string of protests under his breath.

“No.” It comes out grumpily, and even though Jaebum _knows, he knows_ Jinyoung is right, he doesn’t want to give this up just yet. 

“Don’t you get moody on me, we still have time to eat breakfast together if you get up now.” Jinyoung barters and that finally is enough to convince Jaebum to comply. 

“Humph.” Jaebum huffs, moving to raise his face out of his neck and lean up to properly look at Jinyoung. He takes a few long moments before he finally nods with a soft sigh, getting off of Jinyoung and out of bed grumpily with a soft mumbled ‘fine’.

The next time Jaebum visits again he doesn’t let Jinyoung kiss him first thing like he usually does, needing to talk everything out because in the few days he’s been away it’s been nearly driving him insane.

The next afternoon Jaebum comes over again he is welcomed inside as soon as the door opens with a happy kiss.

“Hold on.” Jaebum murmurs into the kiss, but when Jinyoung makes no moves to stop pressing playful kisses against his lips, he does finally pull back enough to meet Jinyoung’s eyes. “We need to talk about everything, I just… I need to know what we are before we keep doing this.” Jaebum explains a bit choppily, seeing a flash of surprise cross Jinyoung’s features.  
“Okay.” Jinyoung agrees, moving to lead him over to the couch and flops down before Jaebum. 

Jaebum takes a few seconds before he gets the right words in his mind. “Are you genuinely sure you want to do this? You want everything that comes along with me? All the trouble?” Jaebum rambles, letting Jinyoung pick up his hand and play with his fingers idly. 

“Yeah, I want everything.” Jinyoung easily responds like it’s a no brainer question. 

“You know I might have to disappear from time to time, right? I can’t talk to you when that’s happening, they could trace my phone to you if they find me.” Jaebum explains as he looks down at their hands, a warm feeling spreading in his chest. “I don’t have a normal life, I can’t take you out to dinner or go for mid day walks in a park.” 

“That’s okay, I know what I’m getting into.” Jinyoung reassures him with a slight shake of his head, and even though Jaebum is skeptical, he’s learned to trust Jinyoung’s decisions by now. “I want to keep this, _us._ I’m willing to risk things to be with you.”

Jaebum is momentarily stunned by Jinyoung’s words and it takes a few seconds before his brain fully digests everything. “You’re sure?” He breathes out, and it shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it honestly does about Jinyoung being so sure and confident about risking everything to be with him.

“I’m sure.” Jinyoung confirms with a small nod, a soft smile growing more on his lips. 

He takes a beat before he finds his next words, getting briefly lost in how fond Jinyoung looks right now. “I need to know what we are, ‘Nyong.” He murmurs, moving his hand and lacing their fingers together. 

“Boyfriends?” Jinyoung suggests and the warmth finally bursts inside of Jaebum’s chest. “If you want- Only if you want, you know?” He backtracks when Jaebum doesn’t answer immediately, and that makes him blurt out the next words.

“I want to!” He exclaims, his grip on Jinyoung’s hand tightening for a moment. “I really want to, boyfriends sounds good.” Jaebum says, a soft, shy smile appearing on his lips.

“Then boyfriends it is.” Jinyoung agrees, squeezing his hand gently.

Jaebum settles into Jinyoung’s bed again that night, letting the younger crowd up against him contently. 

It doesn’t take long for Jinyoung to fall asleep. Soft, quiet snores emit from Jinyoung and it’s become an extremely endearing trait.

_Idly, Jaebum for the first time finds himself wishing that he never stepped foot into a tattoo studio all those years ago. That he stayed normal with blank skin and risked nothing at all._

_Maybe if he did that he could have been a normal boyfriend, one that could take Jinyoung out during the day in short sleeves or go swimming together._

_He regrets his past, but he knows that without everything decorating him he wouldn’t have met Jinyoung, and wouldn't have followed the same path that led him up to this point._

_In that moment, as soon as he registers that thought, the fact that he’s in love, fully, completely, in love. He’s in love and it’s the best thing he’s ever felt._

A month passes and Jaebum stays at Jinyoung’s apartment more so than his own, waking up with Jinyoung right beside him more often than not.

He’s started helping in the cafe downstairs on some occasions when he’s completely free for the day and feels up to it; mostly just taking orders and getting to know the regulars. Even when he’s not helping out, Jinyoung works most weekdays so Jaebum is constantly lingering in the shop, and by now most of the people that swing by know him just as well as Jinyoung. 

It’s crazy how _normal_ it feels to fall into a routine with Jinyoung, living around each other and having such domestic moments like cooking dinner after what’s been a long day for the both of them or Jinyoung sending him to get a shower while he sets out plates for breakfast in the morning. 

It’s not something Jaebum ever let himself think he could have, and now, suddenly he has everything he could have asked for.

Jaebum is on his way out of the cafe one morning, having come down before Jinyoung for once when he runs into someone in the kitchen.

He stumbles back, his mind still fuzzy from sleep, so it admittedly takes him a few seconds to figure out that who he bumped into was Bambam.

_Fuck._

“Can I talk to you for a second?” The other asks as soon as he recovers, Bambam’s stare pinning him in his spot even if he’d wanted to leave immediately. 

“Yeah..?” Jaebum murmurs, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking a step back to give both of them enough room to be semi comfortable. 

Bambam looks relieved at that, relaxing again before speaking. “So you and Jinyoung, you’re really dating?” He asks and anxiety builds up inside of Jaebum, not knowing if Bambam will react negatively towards the truth, but even with knowing that he can’t bring himself to even moderately lie about this.

“We are.” He confirms, shifting his weight and avoiding Bambam’s gaze that seems to be intent on burning a hole in his face. “We’re taking everything slow, though. He’s not at all rushing into this, I promise.” 

When he looks back after a beat of silence from the other Bambam is making a face of light disapproval, making Jaebum’s heart rate pick up a bit. 

“If anything happens we’ve made sure he’s able to not be tracked to me. He’s not… He’s not in immediate danger with me, I’ll keep him safe.” He rushes out before Bambam can speak up, and surprisingly, Bambam looks reassured by that. “I don’t want to get him wrapped up in anything bad, I just want to be with him like this.” 

After Jaebum adds that Bambam’s worries mostly visibly dissolve, leaving him fully relaxed now in Jaebum’s presence. He nods a bit with a small sigh, giving Jaebum a soft smile.

“All right, if he’s happy, I am too.” He accepts, running a hand through his hair and Jaebum is completely caught off guard at Bambam finally accepting him into the little family. He’s always been wary of Jaebum since the beginning just because he was there for the rough few weeks between the two, so hearing him accept them being together officially is the best feeling. 

It doesn’t take long for the two-year anniversary of Jaebum first stepping foot into the shop to roll around. 

Jaebum is laid up in Jinyoung’s bed with said man spread out and half draped across him. 

“Let me take you out today.” Jaebum murmurs into Jinyoung’s hair, pressing a soft kiss there afterwards as Jinyoung hums sleepily in response.

“Out?” Jinyoung asks, slinging an arm over Jaebum’s chest but not opening his eyes or making any move to wake up further. 

“Let’s go get breakfast.” Jaebum explains, contently welcoming the adjustment of weight when Jinyoung gets comfortable. 

“Wait.” Jinyoung breathes out, his eyes opening as he pushes himself up on one elbow to look at Jaebum in surprise. “Wait, you mean like _out_ out? In _public?”_

“Yeah.” He murmurs, moving to lazily brush Jinyoung’s messy hair out of his face. “Not anywhere super busy or crowded, but if you want to, we can.” 

Jinyoung looks speechless, as if he never thought Jaebum could go out during the day like a vampire. “You’re serious.” Jinyoung whispers like he’s just now fully registering Jaebum’s first request. “Oh my god, you’re serious.” He repeats in a louder speaking voice, earning a genuine grin from Jaebum. “We can’t, Jae. What if someone spots us or something?” His voice is wavering though, even as he protests against the idea. He’s not saying no, but he isn’t welcoming the idea happily either.

“I’m fine, I have clothes in my bag that can cover everything. It snowed last night, no one will expect anything if I’m all bundled up.” Jaebum informs him gently, not really knowing how to explain this the best he can to get Jinyoung to realize he _can_ go outside in the day, but just not without everything completely covered. At night he has more leeway, he can not cover his neck or his hands, but in the daytime they become a problem. 

“I’m not sure about this.” His voice is still uneasy, but Jaebum knows him well enough from the two years to know that he is giving in already. 

“I’ll be fine, let me take you out baby.” Jaebum reassures, running his hand through Jinyoung’s hair again fully this time. “It’s been two years since we met and I’ve never got to walk outside with you. Just trust me on this, I know that I’ll be safe.” 

It takes a few moments before Jinyoung finally lets a reaction show, letting out an exhausted huff and dropping back down to tuck his face into Jaebum’s neck. 

“Okay.”

Jaebum lets out a noise in victory, rolling them over to press kisses to a giggling Jinyoung’s face.

They leave the apartment braced for the cold, Jaebum completely covered and Jinyoung in a heavy coat with one of Jaebum’s scarves wrapped snugly around him. 

Jaebum slips his gloved hand into Jinyoung’s bare one like it’s second nature as they walk to one of the diners nearby. 

The entire walk there is filled with Jinyoung lightly teasing him; swinging their hands, nudging his side, bumping their shoulders. Not that Jaebum is complaining, he actually loves it when Jinyoung is comfortable enough in a moment to just relax and have fun.

Jaebum recognizes the diner Jinyoung’s led them to immediately, having come here a handful of times with Mark when they had a client on this side of the city. It’s run by two older women who are the warmest people that Jaebum has met in a long time, even if that list is admittedly short. 

They get inside and it doesn’t take long for them to order, not waiting over two minutes before their breakfast is brought out for them. Thirty minutes later they’re heading outside back into the cold, Jaebum contently leaning into Jinyoung’s side where the other has his arm around his shoulders. 

“Do you want to walk around more?” Jaebum asks, snaking his own arm around Jinyoung’s waist and settling on his hip. 

Jinyoung nods, and Jaebum falls into step with him, letting him lead the way again and just absorbing the feeling of being able to do _this,_ to be able to walk outside even with everything under his clothes that could get him arrested in a second’s notice. 

Jaebum is a bit confused when they make a sharp turn into a park, looking to Jinyoung but getting no hint to why they’ve come here of all places. He follows him steadily though, trusting him not to take Jaebum to some sketchy place and get them into trouble.

They end up on a bench just a few feet from the enormous lake that’s now lightly frozen over, allowing for snow to gather in parts that the sun hasn’t hit today.

“Do you come here a lot?” Jaebum asks, leaning more into the other now that they’re sitting, resting his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, it’s nice here.” He responds in a quiet voice as he happily shifts to accommodate Jaebum’s slight weight he’s rested against him. “Do you like it?” He asks, turning his eyes back to Jaebum and even when they’ve been dating for nearly a year now, times like these still fluster Jaebum. Their faces are about an inch away as soon as Jinyoung turns, making Jaebum’s eyes widen and he’s retreating a tiny bit just so he can speak without nearly having a heart attack again.

“It’s peaceful here, quiet.” He murmurs, moving to steal a quick kiss from Jinyoung when a knowing grin pulls at his boyfriend’s lips as he had moved back. “I didn’t know that it could get this quiet in this city, it’s perfect.” 

  
  


_“I want you to tattoo me.”_

Jaebum nearly drops the container of hot food he’s carrying to the fridge, it taking him longer than he’d like to admit for him to get his heart rate down enough to function again.

“I’m gonna have to give that a big no.” Jaebum deadpans, not understanding why Jinyoung is bringing this up again when months ago Jaebum had made it explicitly clear he wasn’t willing to do anything like that to Jinyoung. 

“I don’t want anything big, just something from you.” Jinyoung protests, resting his chin on his hand with a slight pout that pulls at Jaebum’s heartstrings.

“Tattoos are permanent, Jinyoung.” He states firmly, finally moving again to place the containers into the fridge. 

“I know that! I just- I want a piece of you on me, you know?” Jinyoung counters, staring him down and before he can object again Jinyoung cuts back in. “I know what I’m asking for. We can put it on one of my thighs or somewhere else that I never show anyway.”

Jaebum goes quiet for a moment; he knows Jinyoung knows a lot about tattooing by now, but he’s not sure if he’s aware of just what he’s asking for. 

“What do you want?” He asks, raising an eyebrow challenging. 

“The heart you have on your thigh.” Jinyoung states it easily, like he’s already thought every question Jaebum might have over before now. “Just the red heart with the black outline. You can put it on my hip so it’s always covered.”

That catches Jaebum off guard to say the least. _Jinyoung wants to have one of Jaebum’s tattoos on himself._

“What-...” He cuts himself off completely in shock. 

Jinyoung grins shyly at him. “You’ve shown me a bit of your work and I trust you.” He murmurs and that draws Jaebum closer, walking towards the table slowly. 

“You want… One of _my_ tattoos? That was just a filler piece- I- You want something as simple as that..?” He asks once he’s regained his voice, stopping directly in front of Jinyoung.

“It’s cute. I’ve told you I like the little tiny details in your tattoos.” Jinyoung says with a grin, one hand smoothing up Jaebum’s thigh from his knee, resting against the area where the heart is on his inner thigh. “Just something small, this would be the only one I’ll ever ask for. I just- I want something permanent to have when you have to go away.”

Fuck.

“Tattoos _hurt,_ your hip will hurt a lot.” Jaebum comments, trying to completely hold back any reaction from Jinyoung’s touch, but his leg jumps a bit when Jinyoung draws small patterns over it.

“I can handle it, I promise.” Jinyoung insists, giving him a confident grin that soothes some of Jaebum’s frantic thoughts. “It’s up to you in the end, but I'd love to have something from you like that.” 

It could be how he gets drunk in a way with Jinyoung smiling at him, or it could be the way his skin seems to catch fire under Jinyoung’s touch, he isn’t too sure.

_“I’ll think about it.”_

  
  


“Go on and take off your pants and sit down.” Jaebum murmurs as he leads Jinyoung into one of the back rooms. He can’t believe he agreed to this in the end, but it’s Jinyoung’s choice in the end. He can’t make the last call for him.

“It smells like a doctor's office mixed with… something.” Jinyoung comments, his eyes fluttering around the entire room as Jaebum gathers everything he’ll need on a tray before moving over to him. 

He’d told Jinyoung to come over after their usual work hours, so after a long day it’s just the two of them left in the entire place. 

“Green soap.” Jaebum chimes in, giving Jinyoung the name of the other smell he’s probably thinking of as he sits down in the rolly chair and moves the table to where he can comfortably reach everything. 

He draws in a deep breath, finally meeting the other’s eyes for the first time since he got here a few minutes ago. “You’re sure about this? It isn’t something you can take back.” He asks one last time, watching him closely for any sign of hesitance as he pulls on a pair of gloves. 

“I’m _completely_ sure. Just tell me what to do to make it easier for you.” Jinyoung says, sending Jaebum a bright smile and making a grin pull at Jaebum’s own lips in return. 

“You’re insane.” He says with a soft sigh, but there’s no sign of any ill feelings there. “Lie back. We’re doing it below the hipbone, right?” He asks, waiting for the answer (a small nod), before turning back to the station. “You get to keep your underwear then, if your legs get cold just let me know.” Jaebum murmurs, hearing Jinyoung let out a soft laugh as he lays back on the table.

“What’s that?” He asks quietly when Jaebum comes back with a towel and a razor.

“A razor.” He says, knowing what Jinyoung was asking but avoiding it teasingly, earning a light shove from Jinyoung. “It’s rubbing alcohol, we use it to fully clean the skin before the stencil.” 

Jinyoung doesn’t ask anything else while Jaebum works for that moment, just burning his stare into Jaebum’s head.

As soon as he moves away, though, Jinyoung’s voice reappears over the low music in the background. 

“How was your day?” He asks as Jaebum returns this time with the stencil and a towel wet with the green soap, holding it up for Jinyoung to smell to confirm it for him that it was the secret scent, a small, fond grin pulling up his lips as Jinyoung rapidly nods and confirms it. 

“It was good, I only had one person today, the rest of the time I just helped Mark and cleaned up.” He responds, swiping the paper towel over the now bare skin before gently turning Jinyoung’s leg more towards him and standing so he can see fully what he’s doing; making sure he presses the stencil on straight.

Once he pulls it away he lets out a content hum, nudging his leg to get his full attention back again. “Go see it in the mirror, don’t touch it.” He instructs and Jinyoung does what he’s asked, staring at himself in the mirror for a few long seconds before turning back to Jaebum with a bright grin on his lips. 

“I love it! It’s perfect!” He confirms, climbing back onto the table as Jaebum pieces everything together to start the actual thing.

“I need you to hold completely still for me, you can’t jerk around.” Jaebum explains as he dips the needles into the black ink, turning back to him after that and raising his eyebrows questioningly, needing to see Jinyoung agree that he understands. “It will hurt, kind of like the drag of a mechanical pencil’s lead? It’s continuous, you’ll most likely get used to it after the first line.”

Jinyoung forgets to breathe the moment Jaebum touches his skin with the needles.

He finishes the small first line before lifting the machine again, raising a concerned eyebrow at Jinyoung. “You have to breathe, baby. Take in a few breaths and then we can try again.” He says, meeting Jinyoung's eyes when they flick down back to him from where he’d been looking up at the ceiling. 

“Sorry, it just hurt.” Jinyoung says, but it doesn’t sound like he’s scared away from that line. That’s good.

“It’s fine. I just need you to keep breathing and hold your leg still, that’s all.” Jaebum murmurs, readjusting his grip on the machine before lowering it again. “Second line, it’s going to be a long one. Remember to breathe.” He reminds before he lowers his hand fully, the machine buzzing to life again as he makes quick work of the rest of the small heart.

Now that Jinyoung has an idea of the pain everything goes smoothly from there, him allowing Jaebum to shade in the area with red with no problem, it not taking much time at all. 

“Done.” He murmurs as he wipes the tattoo one last time, eyes checking it over in case he missed any spot in the shading. When he doesn’t find any he reaches back over to the table, snipping off a piece of Saniderm to cover the area with. “Are you still with me?” He teases as he presses the film down before patting Jinyoung’s leg, seeing the other send him a carefree grin.

“I’m fine, it wasn’t that bad.” Jinyoung responds, sitting up after asking if he could and stretching out his arms and legs. “Are we going back to mine after you clean up?” He asks idly, walking over to the mirror and admiring the ink with wide, awestruck eyes. “Holy shit- I love it, I thought it would take longer than this.”

Jaebum laughs over where he’s breaking down the area he’d used, cleaning up everything and putting them back in their places or throwing them away. “Yeah, it doesn't take that long for something simple.” He says, finishing up wiping down the area before walking over to Jinyoung, sliding up behind him.

He happily wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s waist as he rests his chin on Jinyoung’s shoulder, peering over it to look at the tattoo in the mirror. It’s not in the identically same spot that it is on Jaebum, but it’s close. “And to answer the other question, yeah, we can go to yours tonight.” 

For the next two weeks Jaebum frets over him, making sure everything is okay, and he’s not in too much pain, most of the time ending in Jinyoung shutting him up one way or another. 

  
  


_In the end, he guesses he doesn’t actually regret everything._

_Not when everything led him to Jinyoung, and not when Jinyoung now shares something this big with him._

_Everything was worth it._

_Every single risk and moment of worry was worth it to be able to freely love him._

Well, he couldn’t regret anything. Not when he gets to run his tongue over that heart and feel Jinyoung’s entire body shiver at the feeling and intent behind it all.

_God,_ he loves him so much.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe it took me this long to finish this fic when I loved the idea,,, this should have been done like last year lmao
> 
> if you catch anything I didn't just let me know! I don't beta my fics so it's just me combing through them, I'm bound to miss something. Feedback is always appreciated!!!  
> I should be back in a few days to comb through it a final time just to be sure everything's smooth, but for now I'm fine w/ posting it!
> 
> i'm on and off my [twitter](https://twitter.com/softency) most of the time, so if you want to come over and talk about the boys that's the best place to find me! <3  
> until next time!


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